DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we arrive at a restaurant and we have reservations, my husband expects me/us to walk straight up to the host station (past all of the folks already waiting) and literally interrupt the host, who is speaking with another guest, to declare that we have a reservation.
I find this embarrassing and incredibly rude. Others may be waiting for just the same thing: to tell the host that they have reservations.
We actually got into an argument years ago after he insisted on doing this and I told him I was uncomfortable with it. We decided to leave after being seated because he got heated with me.
He continues to do this, while I find it abhorrent!
GENTLE READER: Interrupting a conversation in progress is, of course, rude.
When the restaurant leaves diners to fend for themselves, fellow guests are often the best source of information: “Excuse me. We have reservations. Are you waiting to check in? Do you know if we have to?”
Miss Manners finds this to be effective both in determining the best course of action and, occasionally, in embarrassing the restaurant into improving its signage.
But then, if you fight so conspicuously that you have to leave, the restaurant may be relieved not to serve you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the past year, I built a friendship with one of my co-workers in a very prestigious organization.
We are both in our 50s. She can be hyper-verbal at times. She started volunteering information about many things — her salary, her poor upbringing, her marital details, her husband’s personal habits, her spirituality preferences, etc. — hoping, I believe, that I would do the same.
It was a bit overwhelming, and started getting annoying when she began dissecting every statement I made. She would question me multiple times regarding the who, what, when, how and why about events and people that were completely irrelevant to her.
I finally snapped when she got too inquisitive about a confidential issue. I told her to please not ask me so many questions as it makes me anxious. I categorically stated that what I do in my house is my business.
I think I hurt her feelings, and now she will not talk to me.
She openly ignores me in our office. I approached her once, hoping we could talk about it, and she did not even listen to me. I sent a happy text message a few days later, to which she did not respond.
Her behavior seems extremely childish to me. I am not sure what I did here, except put a stop to some annoying, unnecessary inquisitions. What do I do now?
GENTLE READER: One would have thought it became annoying when she started sharing personal information at work.
Miss Manners does not mean to appear unsympathetic, but when she tells you that it is time to get back to work, she is doing that so that you hear it from her, rather than from your boss at this prestigious organization.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
