In many homes, the family dinner has been replaced with quick bites on the way to soccer practice or individual meals eaten in separate rooms in front of a screen. Sometimes, it might feel impossible to get everyone around the same table at the same time (and without their devices), but it’s never too late to start taking advantage of this valuable tradition.
Shared meals can be a time to reflect on the day, learn more about each other and strengthen family bonds. Not every family will be able to do this every day as most did in the past, but carving out time for a family meal at least a few times a week could reap benefits.
Once everyone is around the table, it can be difficult to get a good conversation going. It’s easy to fall back on asking everyone how their day was, but this is one of those questions with an easy one-word answer that doesn’t necessarily lend itself to an exchange with a natural flow.
Below, you’ll find a few helpful conversation starters designed to engage family members at almost any age.
Roses and thorns
This conversation starter is a variation on the “how was your day” question. However, instead of getting an answer in the vein of “good,” “fine” or “whatever,” everyone is encouraged to think about their day in a slightly deeper way. Going around the table, each person is asked to share the rose (or high point) of their day, as well as those pesky thorns (or low points).
It’s a great way for adults to learn about what’s going on in the kids’ world and for kids to learn that adults have bad days, too. The answers can be used as jumping off points for further conversation about how to deal with not-so-good things we encounter during the day and how to appreciate the good things.
3 Wishes (and why)
Another game that can be played at any age, 3 Wishes is a classic conversation starter that reveals each person’s deepest desires in a world of limitless possibilities. The game comes with two ground rules: You can’t use a wish for more wishes and you must share why you want those particular wishes granted.
You might get hints about what everyone wants for their birthdays, but you’ll also get insight into how everyone sees the world, what they value and what they might want to change. Some wishes may range from the fantastical to the impossible, others may be perfectly possible to make come true.
Out of this world
Speaking of limitless possibilities, families can get the table talk going by sparking the imagination. Ask everyone to create a new planet where everything is just as they would want it to be. What does it look like? How do people act differently or the same? What kinds of animals are there? What do people do for work — or do they have to work at all? What is school like? What type of foods do people eat?
#Goals
Everyone on social media sees the aspirational posts of people at the gym, wearing expensive clothes, eating at nice restaurants or generally living their best life. This conversation starter focuses on real goals of all the individuals at the table. Start with a simple question: “So, what are your #Goals this year? What do you want to be really good at?”
You may learn things you never knew about the family members seated next to you. Maybe your daughter wants to make the cross-country track team and Dad can help her. Maybe Mom wants to write a book. You might discover everyone wants to take more trips together.
No matter which conversation starter your family tries out, remember to let everyone have a turn, and try not to force answers. Don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t go as smoothly as you’d hope. Like everything else, it takes time to get into the flow of a new habit.
The point of family conversation is to learn more about each other as individuals, discover how you can support each other and just enjoy being together.
This article is published as part of the Sun Sentinel Kids of Character program sponsored by Publix, which recognizes kids and staff in South Florida public schools who exhibit the character traits of responsibility, kindness and cooperation. The honorees are recognized at an annual awards ceremony. Visit www.publix.com to find a store near you, discover delicious recipes and learn more about how they support local community programs.
– Jessica Chesler for Publix